Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Dumbass!
To the arsehole who posted the site to his dumbass blog which I dont bother to read, faking as a comment to my posts. If you wanna advertise go take it elsewhere and don't do it on my blog site!!!! Tibai!! Your comment is now thrashed!!!!!!!!!!!
Baby!
A friend of mine had a baby this week and of course all us share his and his wifey's joy in welcoming the arrival of the cutesy baby!! Emails were sent back and forth in quick successions asking a multitude of questions regarding the baby as well as the welfare of the mother and father (the father???).
Anyways, one particular email stood out when one of our friends asked, or more like commanded the husband to buy a gift for the wifey for giving him a baby boy. A special gift and not any cheapo gift to reward the wife for having successfully giving birth to the baby. According to the friend it's a must! As she successfully gave birth to HIS baby!
As I read it, I thought, hmmm..if you give the wife a gift for bearing you a child, then wouldn't that make the wife a baby factory rather than the one u loved who embarked on this baby making adventure with you for a lifetime?
I mean, the baby should be a special gift for both the husband and wife and not to be viewed as a gift from the wife to the husband. No? Both husband and wife should want to have a baby and not just having the baby just because the husband wants it. No?
Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no problems with giving a gift of appreciation to the one you love who suffered (?) 9 months of labour but the idea of a gift as a form of reward is, to me, flawed.
Unless of course you are the King of an empire and you need to ensure your wealth and power is kept within your family. Then such wives will be taken just to produce babies. Usually such persons or Kings will have no less than 40 wives which means he will have more than 100 children, 1000 grandchildren and gazillion more great grandchildren to fight for the wealth and throne. It's ok if the family tears itself apart as long as the wealth is kept "In-houes". Also, by having 40 wives, the King will also be able keep himself healthy by working hard at making babies. Best exercise in the world is sex and it's supposedly proven. Lucky bugger!
But then again, only when you are born with all the right stars and heavens in perfect karmastic and horoscopic alignment will you ever end up being a King of anything!!
Hence, should we then marry for baby or marry for love? Of course there are people out there who marries for baby but as for me the answer is clear. I have no wealth what more an empire, so I will marry for love and then embark hopefully on my own baby making adventure with my dear wifey for the rest of my time on this Earth.
Anyways, one particular email stood out when one of our friends asked, or more like commanded the husband to buy a gift for the wifey for giving him a baby boy. A special gift and not any cheapo gift to reward the wife for having successfully giving birth to the baby. According to the friend it's a must! As she successfully gave birth to HIS baby!
As I read it, I thought, hmmm..if you give the wife a gift for bearing you a child, then wouldn't that make the wife a baby factory rather than the one u loved who embarked on this baby making adventure with you for a lifetime?
I mean, the baby should be a special gift for both the husband and wife and not to be viewed as a gift from the wife to the husband. No? Both husband and wife should want to have a baby and not just having the baby just because the husband wants it. No?
Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely no problems with giving a gift of appreciation to the one you love who suffered (?) 9 months of labour but the idea of a gift as a form of reward is, to me, flawed.
Unless of course you are the King of an empire and you need to ensure your wealth and power is kept within your family. Then such wives will be taken just to produce babies. Usually such persons or Kings will have no less than 40 wives which means he will have more than 100 children, 1000 grandchildren and gazillion more great grandchildren to fight for the wealth and throne. It's ok if the family tears itself apart as long as the wealth is kept "In-houes". Also, by having 40 wives, the King will also be able keep himself healthy by working hard at making babies. Best exercise in the world is sex and it's supposedly proven. Lucky bugger!
But then again, only when you are born with all the right stars and heavens in perfect karmastic and horoscopic alignment will you ever end up being a King of anything!!
Hence, should we then marry for baby or marry for love? Of course there are people out there who marries for baby but as for me the answer is clear. I have no wealth what more an empire, so I will marry for love and then embark hopefully on my own baby making adventure with my dear wifey for the rest of my time on this Earth.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Mankind - Big Deal!
A thought came to me the other day while watching discovery channel. It was showing some documentary on animals survivability and also a special on how efficient sharks are in the oceanic food chain. The question that came to my mind is "Are we the most efficient, smartest, top of the food chain and king of the earth when compared to animals as well as plants? I think not...." Let me explain or provide my opinion as follows in 3 stages.
The first of course being our birth :-
As a human being, we are burdened with the responsibility of Life. Life in human terms is being determined by a complex structure of rules, cultures and systems. When we are born, we burden our parents with the responsibility of raising us. Exasperating them often with our immature antics. Antagonising them with our ridiculous request for attention and love. And lastly exhausting them of their own means for survival - Money (Is this the smartest invention mankind ever discovered? I think not!! Another issue fr another post).
Whereas, as compared to other species on earth such as plants and animals, the birth of such creatures would often require a far simpler structure. For many, it is a matter of giving birth to thousands with the odds stacked at the survivability of a couple of hundreds (Hopefully). For most animals, the moment they are born, they can run as well as walk and seemed armed to the teeth with the necessary tools for their own survival. As for plants, drop a seedling or spread some spores and it's que sera sera. Parental responsibility? For some creatures yes, often times it is never longer than a few weeks or months just to ensure the infant creature can/is ready to fend for itself or are not devoured too early in their vulnerable form (egg form/nuts/planktonian/larvae etc. form). As for plants, again it is que sera sera.
The second stage - The Formative years
After the first stage in the life of a human being, the next stage would be the formative years where again, mankind have somehow managed to find more and more complex/complicated ways to educate and arm the young ones to the realities they will face when they hit the last and final Adulthood stage. They are being put into herds whereby they are taught the ways to conform and be accepted by society at large in the beginning. They are also taught ways to communicate with proper complex words and sentences to describe the multitude of expressions and ideas that a human being is supposedly capable of. (Which to me, the only use only arises in complex human system structures. But if one is to strictly adhere to the basic needs, which is food and shelter) there should be ways to make it simpler.
Again, let us take a look at the creatures around us, the plants and the animals. For plants, as far as we are concerned, they dont communicate vocally or expressively like us but as a species they still seem to be able to go forth and conquer 2/3rds of Globe way before the arrival of mankind. As for animals, believe their communication is purely instinctive as far as we can see/tell without getting too complex as how we humans often get when talking/expressing ideas/thoughts amongst ourselves.
For the animals, if they are hungry, they hunt and there is no argument on when to hunt, how to hunt, how to share the spoils and what not, they just do it. Like Nike. As for us Humans, we will end up talking, debating, fight, reason and seek justification, for all our actions so that it is deemed acceptable and reasonable by Human standards and customs. The animals are simpler, hungry eat. Tired, rest. If challenged and beaten, leave quietly. A perfect system and a perfect hierarchy. Survival of the fittest. As for humans, we justify our defeat, we brag about our successes, we become greedy, we complicate even the simplest of issues and we are always seeking the ultimate reason for existing be it fame or infamy or power or money. The sad thing is, humans are never content with what we have.
For plants and animals. The exist merely to exist as nature intended them to do and share an almost perfect symbiotic bond between all lifeforms on Earth in perfect harmony.
The third stage - Adulthood.
For humans, when we reach adulthood we will be bogged down with career choices (which is mainly to sustain our basic needs plus a fantastical amount of wants!! ) as well as life choices in terms of finding a suitable mate/companion and somehow sow our seeds to ensure that we have continuity for our species. After all, we humans often think that we are the masters of this planet. Hence, we trudge along, arming ourselves with the knowledge to land ourselves with fat paying jobs in order to have a huge bank account in order to buy the ferrari or the beach front bungalow and wear expensive designer clothings and accessories. We continue to expand our already very complicated/complex system further by creating extensive supply chains for our wants as well as thinking of ever new demand for stuff which at the end of the day we dont need. And so the cycle continues.
For the plants and the animals, they dont bother themselves with such nonsense and they are comfortable as they are (no fancy cars, no need to make clothing or house) and everything they need is provided to them at birth. Efficient no?
They live to eat, sleep and pass on just as nature intended. No complex system and no complex wants. They live in perfect contentment as they are. Of course, I know some of you reading this may think that it is because animals and plants are lesser life forms who does not have our intellectual skills and possess our brain power to enable them to evolve to who we humans are. But the question is, is it necessary??
Are we, Mankind, getting the long end of the deal here on Earth or the short end? Are we too arrogant to see ourselves as the most superior species on Earth thus blinding us to the fact, which as simply stated above, that we are actually the opposite. Food for thought?
The first of course being our birth :-
As a human being, we are burdened with the responsibility of Life. Life in human terms is being determined by a complex structure of rules, cultures and systems. When we are born, we burden our parents with the responsibility of raising us. Exasperating them often with our immature antics. Antagonising them with our ridiculous request for attention and love. And lastly exhausting them of their own means for survival - Money (Is this the smartest invention mankind ever discovered? I think not!! Another issue fr another post).
Whereas, as compared to other species on earth such as plants and animals, the birth of such creatures would often require a far simpler structure. For many, it is a matter of giving birth to thousands with the odds stacked at the survivability of a couple of hundreds (Hopefully). For most animals, the moment they are born, they can run as well as walk and seemed armed to the teeth with the necessary tools for their own survival. As for plants, drop a seedling or spread some spores and it's que sera sera. Parental responsibility? For some creatures yes, often times it is never longer than a few weeks or months just to ensure the infant creature can/is ready to fend for itself or are not devoured too early in their vulnerable form (egg form/nuts/planktonian/larvae etc. form). As for plants, again it is que sera sera.
The second stage - The Formative years
After the first stage in the life of a human being, the next stage would be the formative years where again, mankind have somehow managed to find more and more complex/complicated ways to educate and arm the young ones to the realities they will face when they hit the last and final Adulthood stage. They are being put into herds whereby they are taught the ways to conform and be accepted by society at large in the beginning. They are also taught ways to communicate with proper complex words and sentences to describe the multitude of expressions and ideas that a human being is supposedly capable of. (Which to me, the only use only arises in complex human system structures. But if one is to strictly adhere to the basic needs, which is food and shelter) there should be ways to make it simpler.
Again, let us take a look at the creatures around us, the plants and the animals. For plants, as far as we are concerned, they dont communicate vocally or expressively like us but as a species they still seem to be able to go forth and conquer 2/3rds of Globe way before the arrival of mankind. As for animals, believe their communication is purely instinctive as far as we can see/tell without getting too complex as how we humans often get when talking/expressing ideas/thoughts amongst ourselves.
For the animals, if they are hungry, they hunt and there is no argument on when to hunt, how to hunt, how to share the spoils and what not, they just do it. Like Nike. As for us Humans, we will end up talking, debating, fight, reason and seek justification, for all our actions so that it is deemed acceptable and reasonable by Human standards and customs. The animals are simpler, hungry eat. Tired, rest. If challenged and beaten, leave quietly. A perfect system and a perfect hierarchy. Survival of the fittest. As for humans, we justify our defeat, we brag about our successes, we become greedy, we complicate even the simplest of issues and we are always seeking the ultimate reason for existing be it fame or infamy or power or money. The sad thing is, humans are never content with what we have.
For plants and animals. The exist merely to exist as nature intended them to do and share an almost perfect symbiotic bond between all lifeforms on Earth in perfect harmony.
The third stage - Adulthood.
For humans, when we reach adulthood we will be bogged down with career choices (which is mainly to sustain our basic needs plus a fantastical amount of wants!! ) as well as life choices in terms of finding a suitable mate/companion and somehow sow our seeds to ensure that we have continuity for our species. After all, we humans often think that we are the masters of this planet. Hence, we trudge along, arming ourselves with the knowledge to land ourselves with fat paying jobs in order to have a huge bank account in order to buy the ferrari or the beach front bungalow and wear expensive designer clothings and accessories. We continue to expand our already very complicated/complex system further by creating extensive supply chains for our wants as well as thinking of ever new demand for stuff which at the end of the day we dont need. And so the cycle continues.
For the plants and the animals, they dont bother themselves with such nonsense and they are comfortable as they are (no fancy cars, no need to make clothing or house) and everything they need is provided to them at birth. Efficient no?
They live to eat, sleep and pass on just as nature intended. No complex system and no complex wants. They live in perfect contentment as they are. Of course, I know some of you reading this may think that it is because animals and plants are lesser life forms who does not have our intellectual skills and possess our brain power to enable them to evolve to who we humans are. But the question is, is it necessary??
Are we, Mankind, getting the long end of the deal here on Earth or the short end? Are we too arrogant to see ourselves as the most superior species on Earth thus blinding us to the fact, which as simply stated above, that we are actually the opposite. Food for thought?
Sunday, August 21, 2005
3.5 Degrees to Fame!
Do you know who Michael Schumacher is? You do? Then good for you! If you don't then you must either be from Mars (if yes, when u guys attacking us?) or you live on Earth but in a place with no TV, newspaper, foreign immigrant policy and connection whatsoever with the 21st century!
Anyways, my friend Yvo (a close close 2 degrees friend of mine!) plays football with Schumi. In fact, if on an autumn day, he can see Schumi's house from where he lives. after the leaves in the tree line behind his house shed their leaves. That's how close my friend is with Schumi. They were so close, they even share the same shower room and they wear the same jerseys when playing soccer. So close that they refer each other by first names!
Since Yvo is my 2 degrees friend, that makes Schumi my 3.5 degrees "friend" la and bringing me ever closer to knowing a famous personality!
One fine day, my pal Yvo brought his son, Matti to the game and after the game at the shower room, he thought it would be cool for his son to have their picture taken together with Schumi. So off he went brimming with confidence and asked his buddy Schumi if he would mind having his picture taken with him and his son.
As they were buddies in the shower room, Schumi said "Yes, man, no problem!"
Yvo immediately scoot over to where Matti was standing and asked Matti to go and have their picture taken with Schumi. But when he told him about it, Matti said " I DONT WANT!"
Yvo, completely taken aback by Matti was stunned. He tried his best to coax him and still the answer was "NO!!! I..DONT..WAANT!!!!"
Yvo was exasperated by Matti's reaction as clearly the little kid was breaking his balls!! But Yvo is not one to give up so easily too, hence, he said to Matti " Ok Matti, if you agree to have you picture taken with Schumi, I will buy you the toy car that Schumi drives. Ok? You know the F1 sports car?"
"I..DONT...LIKE..THAAT...CAAR!!!" answered Matti. Yvo's balls clearly being crushed to bits by that response....
At this point, Yvo thought that was it. Clearly his son has won his way and there's no way in hell he can get his son to have the picture taken. Head hung down and he let out a sigh. Finish. The end.
Son 1 / Father 0
Suddenly, Matti tucked at his father's shorts and said "Papa, If I can choose the car, then I will take the picture with Schumi" At that, without wasting any more time, Yvo bundled him over and have their picture taken.
Kid's these days DANG IT!!And there's the picture above!
Can Chew? Pt II
My friend Benben called me last nite to inform me that he had made extensive research on the subject of the Teochew dialect and its secret stash of words to combat the cantonese championship vulgarity vocabulary.
He made headways with his 70+ years old nanny, who is teochew of course, and she also said "Poo Boh and Kah Czeng" with a new one "Li Ki Si" (Which means "You go die" literally). Well, when pressed further by Benben, the experienced 70+ years old nanny came out with naught still.
Bottomline, the cantonese still rawks!
He made headways with his 70+ years old nanny, who is teochew of course, and she also said "Poo Boh and Kah Czeng" with a new one "Li Ki Si" (Which means "You go die" literally). Well, when pressed further by Benben, the experienced 70+ years old nanny came out with naught still.
Bottomline, the cantonese still rawks!
Monday, August 15, 2005
Da Marriage Klownselar!
This is not a post about any stag nite if any of you folks might be thinking after seeing Strip Joint in the title. This is about how the Grouch manage to "help" me mate in securing a lifetime of happiness with his then wife to be (now confirmed Wifey) by clearing all the bones from his closet, which he was trying to hide. He was gonna hide them forever from his lovely as it was but a moment of folly which he succumbed too and I know that deep down inside, this secret was tearing him apart. Poor dood!
Here's what happened. Back in 2001 I was back in Melbourne for a month as interim manager of our Aussie office as my then country manager decided to jump ship. Hence, naturally I caught up with my aussie mate. We shall call him Goody Joe and his GF (then). Our actvities are mainly very goody goody coz after all, you dont get to be called Goody Joe for being naughty!
One day, while me, Goody and Leon were having dinner at our trusty old chinese restaurant A1, Goody asked me about my adventures at the local strip joint. Of course, when me buddy asked about it in his goody ways I thought of nothing naughty but just to educate him about the going ons in his neighbourhood.
Suddenly, Goody said, he wanted to go check it out as part of his educational process. Again, I thought what the heck, it was after all done in the purpose of furthering one's life learning. So we decided to make our way down to MG but before we head out, Goody went to draw some money from the local ATM. "Why you draw so much money dood?, " I asked.
Goody answered "Bro, it's my first time and I dont know how much the whole tuition fee would be so I take a bit more la and I also decided to cover u guys as well" What a GUY eh!
So off we went and we had a blast of a time there. (For details, will put in another post). After gettting all the needed education we headed home. On the way back, I can tell that he felt dissonance from his field trip. He felt guilty for gawking at nekkid women wrapping themselves to a pole and dancing sexily on top of a table while having loads of beer as he loves his GF very very much. Sighs.
Hence, the matter was buried between the 3 of us until one night about a year later. We were having a webcam chat at my friend Pilotboy's home with him over in Aussieland. And he was there, telling us about how he proposed to his GF and all. So all of us were overjoyed and as usual in a get together of frens we always recount all the stupid things that we ever did. Hence, I let the cat out of the bag - ACCIDENTALLY. Everyone was laughing including him and his GF who popped her head into the webcam to ask smiling gleefully "Whaat!??...what strip bar??"
All of us continued to laugh and I championly changed topic and awhile later we called it a nite.
Or so I thought, well it was a wrap for me but apparently for him, it was not the case.....as I found out the next morning, the minute I logged onto my msn messenger.
"FARKING BASTARD!!!! FARK U!!!!!!!! YOU DESTROYED ME!!! U MUTHAFARKER SONOFABIATCH!!!!! why u go tell all about the education field trip???? It was supposed to be between us brothers!!! U diu chow hai sei chai diu kow lei ke sei yan tow!!!!! (translation of champion cantonese foul language - fark you smelly cunt damm boy, fark your blardy dead head!!!)
Shit!! What have I done!?! Panic flashed across my brain as my neurons worked at hyperspeed trying to find the right words to salvage my brothers marriage and all I can come up with "So how now?" says me in the meekest of voice.
A few silent minutes later.
"Fark what you think I had to tell her EVERYTHING MAN!! EVERYTHING SINGLE DETAIL!" says Goody.
"Err...including the one about you wasting 30mins just to wait for your chosen one to lap dance you??" asked me meekly.
"FARK MAN! WHAT YOU THINK??? OF COURSE!!!" answered Goody.
Shit man, I may have screwed up his happiness this time round. I felt bad. Really baaaad. As in Baaa Baaa Black Sheep Baaaaaad!!!. Guilt weighed upon me like a thousand tons of beans pouring down on me! shit. I screwed up big time this round. And before I could sputter another word Goody then told me that he ended up talking to his GF for almost 7 hours straight!!!
But in the end, everything ended well. As his GF knows Goody is just under my evil influence and he actually went to MG for pure educational purposes. And guess what, she was actually happy that he told her about his little field trip and how much guilt he held inside him (not that he did anything wrong during the field trip.)..NO NO NO. He was very well behaved. He was just there to satisfy his curiosity as well as to prove to some bastard friends of his who were teasing him of not ever been to a stip joint that he went, saw and left with his saintly halo still intact on his crown.
And as for Goody Joe, he felt great relief after suffering from a serious lack of sleep and having his brains squeezed dry of all the information gathered that nite. All his guilt and dissonance washed clean. A heavy burden lifted of his tiny frame!
So here we have it. Alls well that ends well. Come to think of it, I actually did them a favor! I helped clear his conscience and helped him destroy all the dirty bones in his closet! Now, Goody Joe and GF are finally married and are engulfed in pure marital bliss! No thanks of course need to be mentioned to me, the Grouch - The Accidental Marriage Klownselar!!!!!
Here's what happened. Back in 2001 I was back in Melbourne for a month as interim manager of our Aussie office as my then country manager decided to jump ship. Hence, naturally I caught up with my aussie mate. We shall call him Goody Joe and his GF (then). Our actvities are mainly very goody goody coz after all, you dont get to be called Goody Joe for being naughty!
One day, while me, Goody and Leon were having dinner at our trusty old chinese restaurant A1, Goody asked me about my adventures at the local strip joint. Of course, when me buddy asked about it in his goody ways I thought of nothing naughty but just to educate him about the going ons in his neighbourhood.
Suddenly, Goody said, he wanted to go check it out as part of his educational process. Again, I thought what the heck, it was after all done in the purpose of furthering one's life learning. So we decided to make our way down to MG but before we head out, Goody went to draw some money from the local ATM. "Why you draw so much money dood?, " I asked.
Goody answered "Bro, it's my first time and I dont know how much the whole tuition fee would be so I take a bit more la and I also decided to cover u guys as well" What a GUY eh!
So off we went and we had a blast of a time there. (For details, will put in another post). After gettting all the needed education we headed home. On the way back, I can tell that he felt dissonance from his field trip. He felt guilty for gawking at nekkid women wrapping themselves to a pole and dancing sexily on top of a table while having loads of beer as he loves his GF very very much. Sighs.
Hence, the matter was buried between the 3 of us until one night about a year later. We were having a webcam chat at my friend Pilotboy's home with him over in Aussieland. And he was there, telling us about how he proposed to his GF and all. So all of us were overjoyed and as usual in a get together of frens we always recount all the stupid things that we ever did. Hence, I let the cat out of the bag - ACCIDENTALLY. Everyone was laughing including him and his GF who popped her head into the webcam to ask smiling gleefully "Whaat!??...what strip bar??"
All of us continued to laugh and I championly changed topic and awhile later we called it a nite.
Or so I thought, well it was a wrap for me but apparently for him, it was not the case.....as I found out the next morning, the minute I logged onto my msn messenger.
"FARKING BASTARD!!!! FARK U!!!!!!!! YOU DESTROYED ME!!! U MUTHAFARKER SONOFABIATCH!!!!! why u go tell all about the education field trip???? It was supposed to be between us brothers!!! U diu chow hai sei chai diu kow lei ke sei yan tow!!!!! (translation of champion cantonese foul language - fark you smelly cunt damm boy, fark your blardy dead head!!!)
Shit!! What have I done!?! Panic flashed across my brain as my neurons worked at hyperspeed trying to find the right words to salvage my brothers marriage and all I can come up with "So how now?" says me in the meekest of voice.
A few silent minutes later.
"Fark what you think I had to tell her EVERYTHING MAN!! EVERYTHING SINGLE DETAIL!" says Goody.
"Err...including the one about you wasting 30mins just to wait for your chosen one to lap dance you??" asked me meekly.
"FARK MAN! WHAT YOU THINK??? OF COURSE!!!" answered Goody.
Shit man, I may have screwed up his happiness this time round. I felt bad. Really baaaad. As in Baaa Baaa Black Sheep Baaaaaad!!!. Guilt weighed upon me like a thousand tons of beans pouring down on me! shit. I screwed up big time this round. And before I could sputter another word Goody then told me that he ended up talking to his GF for almost 7 hours straight!!!
But in the end, everything ended well. As his GF knows Goody is just under my evil influence and he actually went to MG for pure educational purposes. And guess what, she was actually happy that he told her about his little field trip and how much guilt he held inside him (not that he did anything wrong during the field trip.)..NO NO NO. He was very well behaved. He was just there to satisfy his curiosity as well as to prove to some bastard friends of his who were teasing him of not ever been to a stip joint that he went, saw and left with his saintly halo still intact on his crown.
And as for Goody Joe, he felt great relief after suffering from a serious lack of sleep and having his brains squeezed dry of all the information gathered that nite. All his guilt and dissonance washed clean. A heavy burden lifted of his tiny frame!
So here we have it. Alls well that ends well. Come to think of it, I actually did them a favor! I helped clear his conscience and helped him destroy all the dirty bones in his closet! Now, Goody Joe and GF are finally married and are engulfed in pure marital bliss! No thanks of course need to be mentioned to me, the Grouch - The Accidental Marriage Klownselar!!!!!
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Can Chew?
Speech is our most direct form of communication. Normally, whenever we are approached by a stranger from another part of the world, the first few words we learn to speak or confronted with are vulgarities (Fark U! being the most general) besides the normal and boring "Hello", "Thank you", "Have you eaten?", "Where's the toilet?", "Are you male or female", "You like me?, I like you","You love me, I love you" and "Let's go!".
While having dinner with my teochew friend Benben, I discovered that, some languages have limitations in describing certain parts of the human anatomy.
Namely, the dialect we are talking about here is Teochew. I am actually from Fujian Province in China, hence my natural dialect group is Hokkien, while I am brought up in an environment of Cantonese, Malay and English speaking parents.
Naturally, my command of the cantonese vocabulary for vulgarities used in describing the sexual reproduction organs and it's uses/curses, is the most champion of all!!! (second is Hokkien and I can only swear and curse in Hokkien, normal conversation - FAIL)!
And strangely enough in terms of vulgarities and flowery curses (from my limited scope of experience), Cantonese seems to be the most advance. It has many, many kinds of swears and curses to oneself as well as to one's loved ones. Very colorful at that!! It is too RA to describe here but u can refer to my Buang Sui post to get a feel of some.
Whereas the teochew dialect's swears and curses seems to be only limited to "POO BOH!" or "KAH CZENG!" (POO BOH - Fark your momma / KAH CZENG - Ass!). These seems to be the 2 swear words available in Teochew. But of course, if there's any Teochew brothers or sisters out there that can think of more, please do educate me.
When I ask my friend if there's any more words to describe the strategic human anatomy when one curses in teochew, he cant seem to think of any.
As for cantonese, one can easily think of the words to describe say for example : Ass.
Ass in cantonese - Si Fat, Lor Yau, Kong Moon, Pat Yuet Sap Ng, Pei Ku!
Ass in teochew - Kah Czeng - only 1 that I can think of.
Does this then mean that, being cantonese or being able to speak cantonese makes one a naturally good candidate to take up medicine?? Or does it mean that cantonese speaking people have a more civilised and advance society once upon a time in China hence make them smarter??
When I asked my friend how do one describe a male and female's sexual reproductive organ in teochew, he was STUMPED! All he can think of again when it comes to such organs is KAH CZENG. I asked, "How else you can spice up to curse one's KAH CZENG in teochew??" I again drew a blank! My goodness, in cantonese, there seems to be an endless array of ways to curse one's backside!!!
Just imagine if you are in a war of words against a cantonese speaking fella and a teochew speaking fella, who do you think will win.
Naturally of course the cantonese speaking fella.
All the teochew fella can say is "POO BOH! KAH CZENG! POO BOH! KAH CZENG!"
Whereas the cantonese speaking fella can utilise the wide array of vocabulary available, to describe the action (fark), smell/taste(condition), family members (namely Ma and Pa) as well as the family pet - the dog and the human anatomy to beat down the opposition!!!.
While having dinner with my teochew friend Benben, I discovered that, some languages have limitations in describing certain parts of the human anatomy.
Namely, the dialect we are talking about here is Teochew. I am actually from Fujian Province in China, hence my natural dialect group is Hokkien, while I am brought up in an environment of Cantonese, Malay and English speaking parents.
Naturally, my command of the cantonese vocabulary for vulgarities used in describing the sexual reproduction organs and it's uses/curses, is the most champion of all!!! (second is Hokkien and I can only swear and curse in Hokkien, normal conversation - FAIL)!
And strangely enough in terms of vulgarities and flowery curses (from my limited scope of experience), Cantonese seems to be the most advance. It has many, many kinds of swears and curses to oneself as well as to one's loved ones. Very colorful at that!! It is too RA to describe here but u can refer to my Buang Sui post to get a feel of some.
Whereas the teochew dialect's swears and curses seems to be only limited to "POO BOH!" or "KAH CZENG!" (POO BOH - Fark your momma / KAH CZENG - Ass!). These seems to be the 2 swear words available in Teochew. But of course, if there's any Teochew brothers or sisters out there that can think of more, please do educate me.
When I ask my friend if there's any more words to describe the strategic human anatomy when one curses in teochew, he cant seem to think of any.
As for cantonese, one can easily think of the words to describe say for example : Ass.
Ass in cantonese - Si Fat, Lor Yau, Kong Moon, Pat Yuet Sap Ng, Pei Ku!
Ass in teochew - Kah Czeng - only 1 that I can think of.
Does this then mean that, being cantonese or being able to speak cantonese makes one a naturally good candidate to take up medicine?? Or does it mean that cantonese speaking people have a more civilised and advance society once upon a time in China hence make them smarter??
When I asked my friend how do one describe a male and female's sexual reproductive organ in teochew, he was STUMPED! All he can think of again when it comes to such organs is KAH CZENG. I asked, "How else you can spice up to curse one's KAH CZENG in teochew??" I again drew a blank! My goodness, in cantonese, there seems to be an endless array of ways to curse one's backside!!!
Just imagine if you are in a war of words against a cantonese speaking fella and a teochew speaking fella, who do you think will win.
Naturally of course the cantonese speaking fella.
All the teochew fella can say is "POO BOH! KAH CZENG! POO BOH! KAH CZENG!"
Whereas the cantonese speaking fella can utilise the wide array of vocabulary available, to describe the action (fark), smell/taste(condition), family members (namely Ma and Pa) as well as the family pet - the dog and the human anatomy to beat down the opposition!!!.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Buang Sui - The Book Burning Ceremony
During my high school pre-STPM (A levels equivalent) days, me and my buddies used to go back to school to study at night. It was an excuse to get out of the house at nite as much as to study. Believe me, study we did because all my life as a student, I have never studied as hard as I did for the freaking STPM!!!! The farking exam is DAMMMM Hard ok!! HARD!!! especially the stoopid accounting paper ( a story for another time!)
Anyways, my school is very old. About 100 odd years already and there are a lot of stories of it being haunted and all. Especially the boys toilet as it was said that during the Japanese oocupation of Malaysia, it was used as a torture chamber. At night, it was not even lit, so imagine going to take a leak in a supposed haunted underground toilet with no lights. NO WAY DOODS! "The pee just wont come out man" claimed a poor victim who braved it once!
So, what we sane boys used to do then was to use the only girls toilet available. Above ground and brightly lit!! (our school only admit girls for form six). Pee sure come out!!
Then one nite after studying and talking cock for a bit, I decide to go take a leak. As I step into the cubicle, I noticed to my farking horror a used Kotex/Whisper/Freedom (whatever you call it) lying on top of the toilet!
"CHOI,DIU, Tai kat lai see!!! "i said loudly.
Al and Andy heard it and came over to kepoh and see what the hell is going on. Both of them went "DIIIIUUUUUU!!!!, CHOI!!!" ( Diu means Fark in cantonese while Choi can be used to mean Shit or Damm or away with da bad luck)
After Diu-ing and Choi-ing for the umpteenth time, the three of us then decide to do the right thing. Dispose of it as we were after all users of the toilet at nite. Hence, Al went about the prefects room and found a thong and with it, he grabbed the "thing" and walked out of the toilet and asked how and where to dispose it!
"Dumb fark, of course rubbish bin la diu!" says me.
Just then, all of us looked at each other and an evil thought flashed into our brains at the same time.
We noticed Hak Kwai (Black Ghost), another friend of ours is still diligently and hard-workingly studying back in the classroom. While the 3 of us are hardly studying at that time. So Al thought that Hak Kwai needed to take a break and have a bit of Kit Kat time.
He brought the "thing" with him into the classroom and slowly commando crept close enough to Hak Kwai (Black Ghost) and when he was in position, he dropped it "Kerplonk!!" skillfully right smack on his text book which he was hardworkingly staring at!
"CRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSH BING BANG BOOM!!!" As Hak Kwai jumped like a jack rabbit dumped onto a hot pan in fear of that "thing" on his book and pushed the table with his book on it for almost 5 feet away from him!
Next thing we know was, "Muthafarkers, diu nia sing (fark yr sing), Sei chai(dead kid), mah chao hai, hum ka fu kwa (whole family get rich)i!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHOI!!!!!!!" coming out of Hak Kwai's mouth and the look on his face drained the blood from our veins as all three of us ran for our lives / split 3 ways!!
Of coz, me and Al being the fit bastards can sprint the fastest all except for Andy, with his added bulk he can manage to last a only a few mins....in the end after running around the whole blardy school we decided to face the music and let Hak Kwai confront us.
He was farking us left, right, center, frontside as well as backside all!! In the end he sputtered the words...
"Fark la you cibai farkers!! I am gonna fail my GP coz U farkers throw that Sui (means bad) "thing" onto my book!!! Fark! Fark! I am doomed u farkers!!! Diu all of you! This kind of sui thing also you all play with! Farks!"
After a few more rounds of farks, we came out with a champion idea!
We decided to Buang the Sui (Buang means throw in Malay) by BURNING THE BOOK!!
Hence, the ritual is set and with all of us circled around the book. Andy said something like "Ok by burning this sui book! Your sui luck will disappear with it! and you will NOT FAIL the exam!!" With that, Al torched the bloody book!
When the ceremony was over, Hak Kwai said " Diu!"
I answered "Diu what now? Your sui buangded already!!! No worries man! lets go for supper!!"
After I said that I kena hantamed one time "kow-kow" (means strongly) on the head by the Hak Kwai.
"Diu u la eat! My book now torched how da fark am I suppose to study now U stupid farkers!!!. Farking book cost 15 bucks you know u cheebyes!" He added "Supper my ass la, I will still farking fail now for sure coz I have no book to study!! Dumbfarkers and it's all you guy's FAULT!"
We felt extremely bad after that and we decided once more to do the right thing. Buy him back a new book. Diu! Yeah right do the right thing stupid farkers we all. Hence, we pooled our money 5 bucks each and got the Hak Kwai a new book the next day.
And guess in the end, the book burning ceremony worked coz the muthason Hak Kwai today is a successful civil enginneer, married to a champion wife and blessed with a baby girl!!
Come to think of it, it was Al, me and Andy who got the sui from that farking "Thing"....we ended up paying 5 bucks each for buying back a perfectly normal book, in great condition which we burned becoz of that "thing" as well as feeling like a total arse after kena farked by Hak Kwai and not to mention, spoiling the mood for supper that night!! (which is what I looked forward the most whenever we study in school at nite)
Anyways, my school is very old. About 100 odd years already and there are a lot of stories of it being haunted and all. Especially the boys toilet as it was said that during the Japanese oocupation of Malaysia, it was used as a torture chamber. At night, it was not even lit, so imagine going to take a leak in a supposed haunted underground toilet with no lights. NO WAY DOODS! "The pee just wont come out man" claimed a poor victim who braved it once!
So, what we sane boys used to do then was to use the only girls toilet available. Above ground and brightly lit!! (our school only admit girls for form six). Pee sure come out!!
Then one nite after studying and talking cock for a bit, I decide to go take a leak. As I step into the cubicle, I noticed to my farking horror a used Kotex/Whisper/Freedom (whatever you call it) lying on top of the toilet!
"CHOI,DIU, Tai kat lai see!!! "i said loudly.
Al and Andy heard it and came over to kepoh and see what the hell is going on. Both of them went "DIIIIUUUUUU!!!!, CHOI!!!" ( Diu means Fark in cantonese while Choi can be used to mean Shit or Damm or away with da bad luck)
After Diu-ing and Choi-ing for the umpteenth time, the three of us then decide to do the right thing. Dispose of it as we were after all users of the toilet at nite. Hence, Al went about the prefects room and found a thong and with it, he grabbed the "thing" and walked out of the toilet and asked how and where to dispose it!
"Dumb fark, of course rubbish bin la diu!" says me.
Just then, all of us looked at each other and an evil thought flashed into our brains at the same time.
We noticed Hak Kwai (Black Ghost), another friend of ours is still diligently and hard-workingly studying back in the classroom. While the 3 of us are hardly studying at that time. So Al thought that Hak Kwai needed to take a break and have a bit of Kit Kat time.
He brought the "thing" with him into the classroom and slowly commando crept close enough to Hak Kwai (Black Ghost) and when he was in position, he dropped it "Kerplonk!!" skillfully right smack on his text book which he was hardworkingly staring at!
"CRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSH BING BANG BOOM!!!" As Hak Kwai jumped like a jack rabbit dumped onto a hot pan in fear of that "thing" on his book and pushed the table with his book on it for almost 5 feet away from him!
Next thing we know was, "Muthafarkers, diu nia sing (fark yr sing), Sei chai(dead kid), mah chao hai, hum ka fu kwa (whole family get rich)i!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHOI!!!!!!!" coming out of Hak Kwai's mouth and the look on his face drained the blood from our veins as all three of us ran for our lives / split 3 ways!!
Of coz, me and Al being the fit bastards can sprint the fastest all except for Andy, with his added bulk he can manage to last a only a few mins....in the end after running around the whole blardy school we decided to face the music and let Hak Kwai confront us.
He was farking us left, right, center, frontside as well as backside all!! In the end he sputtered the words...
"Fark la you cibai farkers!! I am gonna fail my GP coz U farkers throw that Sui (means bad) "thing" onto my book!!! Fark! Fark! I am doomed u farkers!!! Diu all of you! This kind of sui thing also you all play with! Farks!"
After a few more rounds of farks, we came out with a champion idea!
We decided to Buang the Sui (Buang means throw in Malay) by BURNING THE BOOK!!
Hence, the ritual is set and with all of us circled around the book. Andy said something like "Ok by burning this sui book! Your sui luck will disappear with it! and you will NOT FAIL the exam!!" With that, Al torched the bloody book!
When the ceremony was over, Hak Kwai said " Diu!"
I answered "Diu what now? Your sui buangded already!!! No worries man! lets go for supper!!"
After I said that I kena hantamed one time "kow-kow" (means strongly) on the head by the Hak Kwai.
"Diu u la eat! My book now torched how da fark am I suppose to study now U stupid farkers!!!. Farking book cost 15 bucks you know u cheebyes!" He added "Supper my ass la, I will still farking fail now for sure coz I have no book to study!! Dumbfarkers and it's all you guy's FAULT!"
We felt extremely bad after that and we decided once more to do the right thing. Buy him back a new book. Diu! Yeah right do the right thing stupid farkers we all. Hence, we pooled our money 5 bucks each and got the Hak Kwai a new book the next day.
And guess in the end, the book burning ceremony worked coz the muthason Hak Kwai today is a successful civil enginneer, married to a champion wife and blessed with a baby girl!!
Come to think of it, it was Al, me and Andy who got the sui from that farking "Thing"....we ended up paying 5 bucks each for buying back a perfectly normal book, in great condition which we burned becoz of that "thing" as well as feeling like a total arse after kena farked by Hak Kwai and not to mention, spoiling the mood for supper that night!! (which is what I looked forward the most whenever we study in school at nite)
Friday, August 05, 2005
Appendix!
Went to visit me friend Harvie who just had her appendix taken out. Ouch!. Thought she would be lying in bed and grimacing in pain but to my surprise, I found her sitting up and yakking away with D, Mins and 2 other friends in the room.
Immediately, I felt a sense of relief as she seems to be her normal self, hence I popped in and join in the conversation. First thing I asked was, " Where's the appendix??!, Can I see it??"
To my disappointment, it was nowhere to be found in the room. Damm! But then again, maybe it's better that I dont see it coz I realise that I have not taken lunch. Whew!
As usual, flowers from friends and well wishers trickle into the room as we are yakking away and D suddenly explained why he did not bring any, although the thought did flash in his head to bring some. According to him, since he has never bought flowers for the W. He thought it would not be fair if he buys it for Harvie. What a guy eh!!
As for me, I just told her that by coming to see her, it's better than any flowers! Flowers cant entertain her as I do! Those cards with 1 to 2 lines in it can only sustain her attention for less than 1 minute while I, I can keep her entertained for hours if time and hospital rules permit!
"Fark the flowers!" I said. D asked if I meant it literally. I answeredNO! Think I nuts or what???? Siow!! (means crazy in Hokkien)
But if I do literally fark the flowers, I jolly well make sure there are no bees, wasps, kerengga or whatever shite there is that might take a bite at me!! Or else I will end up in the bed next to Harvie either grimacing in pain, or scratching a bad itch or high on morphine!!
Anyways, after Mins and her two other friends left, things kind of quietened down a little. And I noticed only then that Harvie grimaced in pain. Damm!! Hope it's not because of me making her laugh too much until her stitches burst!! But then again, cannot be, coz according to her, the Docs only made 2 keyhole incisions instead of cutting her up open like opening the hood of your car like that to remove the useless bugger of an appendix!!
Immediately, I felt a sense of relief as she seems to be her normal self, hence I popped in and join in the conversation. First thing I asked was, " Where's the appendix??!, Can I see it??"
To my disappointment, it was nowhere to be found in the room. Damm! But then again, maybe it's better that I dont see it coz I realise that I have not taken lunch. Whew!
As usual, flowers from friends and well wishers trickle into the room as we are yakking away and D suddenly explained why he did not bring any, although the thought did flash in his head to bring some. According to him, since he has never bought flowers for the W. He thought it would not be fair if he buys it for Harvie. What a guy eh!!
As for me, I just told her that by coming to see her, it's better than any flowers! Flowers cant entertain her as I do! Those cards with 1 to 2 lines in it can only sustain her attention for less than 1 minute while I, I can keep her entertained for hours if time and hospital rules permit!
"Fark the flowers!" I said. D asked if I meant it literally. I answeredNO! Think I nuts or what???? Siow!! (means crazy in Hokkien)
But if I do literally fark the flowers, I jolly well make sure there are no bees, wasps, kerengga or whatever shite there is that might take a bite at me!! Or else I will end up in the bed next to Harvie either grimacing in pain, or scratching a bad itch or high on morphine!!
Anyways, after Mins and her two other friends left, things kind of quietened down a little. And I noticed only then that Harvie grimaced in pain. Damm!! Hope it's not because of me making her laugh too much until her stitches burst!! But then again, cannot be, coz according to her, the Docs only made 2 keyhole incisions instead of cutting her up open like opening the hood of your car like that to remove the useless bugger of an appendix!!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Haiku?
My creative contribution to Haiku.
Quickly zips up his pants,
Ouch the zipper caught da nuts,
Muffles the cry of shame. :p
I must thank Ben Stiller for the inspiration.
Quickly zips up his pants,
Ouch the zipper caught da nuts,
Muffles the cry of shame. :p
I must thank Ben Stiller for the inspiration.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Da Date doctor
Ok following is a chat log of me n me buddy Johnny Bravo regarding a chica he digs....
Johnny Bravo says:
bro
Grouch (will be known as G from now) says:
yes
Johnny Bravo says:
at last ada colleague that is pretty
G says:
wassup
G says:
chinese?
Johnny Bravo says:
but sadly i learn that she leaves company in 2 weeks
Johnny Bravo says:
no not sure her race think that she is mixed
G says:
waaah got picture ?
Johnny Bravo says:
think she got indian blood but not sure. She damn cute la sighs
G says:
ooooo (how da heck knows got indian blood?!?)
Johnny Bravo says:
no have she now training me cannot concentrate already. She got damn happening smile lah melted lah me
Johnny Bravo says:
and speak with damn happening english accent also
G says:
waaah
Johnny Bravo says:
but cannot pronounce her name
G says:
go befrens her
G says:
go go
Johnny Bravo says:
it is Genesumthing sumthing Basseenike sumthing sumthing
Johnny Bravo says:
but she damn cutes lah so more young me thinks
G says:
Ah....it sounds like Basi-nak ke? (in malay it means "it's rotten, still want?")
Johnny Bravo says:
bout late twenties
Johnny Bravo says:
today me very interested in the training lah
Johnny Bravo says:
how can i take camera and takes her picture
G says:
phone!! say since u leaving takes pictures
Johnny Bravo says:
she can see one u know if i use me phones
G says:
ask her la alamak ask her to take wif u la
Johnny Bravo says:
i only just met her today
G says:
just walks up tp her and say she's gorgeous!
Johnny Bravo says:
sounds damn desperrate man u r MAD
Johnny Bravo says:
i have to maintain an image u know
G says:
dood in them chicas they like straight forward and sincere ppel la dey!
Johnny Bravo says:
i am trying to become regional CEO !!! Yes but I am asian
G says:
she like one
Johnny Bravo says:
and the rest of me collegues in the room that hears how habis harapan aku
G says :
No worries
G says:
is fr loves
G says:
they understands
Johnny Bravo says:
u talk nonsense!!! nonsense i tells u
G says:
no u never watch Love Actually meh
Johnny Bravo says:
meaning
Johnny Bravo says:
i watch many times
G says:
u gots to goes fr wat u want
G says:
sit there talk ends up with naught
Johnny Bravo says:
yes i c
G says:
so goes
Johnny Bravo says:
k
Johnny Bravo says:
i will send emails later to her!
*** at this point I really think I know what the hell I am talking about! and the dood is really taking my advice - LOL!***
G says:
ask her fo coffee
Johnny Bravo says:
to her she is on the global address and i will bring her the coffeee
G says:
tells her that she is da most beautiful woman she meets
G says:
u ever meets
G says:
and tells her something strange happened today
**** hahahaha honestly I will NEVER do so meself *****
Johnny Bravo says:
i will tell her that me fren who has never met her thinks that she is the prettiest chcik he has never met, becos of me descrition of her
Johnny Bravo says:
wat strange thing happened today
G says:
u felt like the whole world suddenly became so much more beautiful
**** puking my gutts out already!!! LOL ****
G says:
and u have a happy,anxious feeling inside that u have never felt since long long time ago
Johnny Bravo says:
but she is really quite cute
G says:
goes befrens her la
G says:
dood u gots nothing to loooooooooooooose but everything to gaaaaaaaaaaaaaain (coz already start as loser so nothing much more can lose la....as me thinks in me head)
G says:
just like me and me GF
**** here's where me epiphany came about which will eventually lead to another post of mine here regarding mathematics....****
G says:
no GF = G becomes a singularity!
Johnny Bravo says:
nonsesnse !!!!!
G says:
with GF = The Grouch + happiness which equates to a happy Grouch!
G says:
understand
Johnny Bravo says:
i c
G says:
so...without Genie = Johnny Bravo - the zero
G says:
with Genie = Johnny Bravo + Fren
G says:
If Genie is +ve attracted to Johnny Bravo then + Happiness+Potential GF / No more ZERO!
G says:
See da equation???
(Me thinks in me head after /You aint a ZERO loser no more...u have a Genie with u + mebbe 3 wishes...hmmmm)
Johnny Bravosays:
and potential place to crash in da UK in the future
G says:
YA!
Johnny Bravo says:
wat nonsense !
G says:
IF Johnny Bravo is -ve / Then Johnny Bravo = 0
G says:
Johnny Bravo = sadness (Loooooooooser)
G says:
Johnny Bravo = Loser
Johnny Bravo says:
u are so nice call me loser all
G says:
not me
G says:
that is da equation
G says:
how it moves
G says:
how it equates
G says:
very simple
Johnny Bravo says:
the equation is all done by u
G says:
yes and thru sheer grit and understanding of how life works
*** ABOVE here at this point was me moment of epiphany that mathematics is very easy indeed!! And to think I used to fail em all....****
Johnny Bravo says:
so what is says is what u are saying
G says:
its always a + / - game
G says:
IF u are positive..u will + stuff
G says:
if u are negative, u will negate life
G says:
and chances
G says:
and opportunities
Johnny Bravo says:
i c
G says:
simple rule of life
Johnny Bravo says:
i c i wil listen to u and tells u wat happens
G says:
ok got + (means ADD) something to your life
Johnny Bravo says:
i wil see how it goes
G says:
objects appear before us, is there fr a reason
G says:
persons as well
G says:
just go say hi
G says:
if the math is correct
G says:
all will add up
G says:
my philosophy champion or not?
At this point Johnny Bravo went to action on it la....I cant believe I can come up with such crap in such a short span of time....Guess that day I was inspired!!!!
Johnny Bravo says:
bro
Grouch (will be known as G from now) says:
yes
Johnny Bravo says:
at last ada colleague that is pretty
G says:
wassup
G says:
chinese?
Johnny Bravo says:
but sadly i learn that she leaves company in 2 weeks
Johnny Bravo says:
no not sure her race think that she is mixed
G says:
waaah got picture ?
Johnny Bravo says:
think she got indian blood but not sure. She damn cute la sighs
G says:
ooooo (how da heck knows got indian blood?!?)
Johnny Bravo says:
no have she now training me cannot concentrate already. She got damn happening smile lah melted lah me
Johnny Bravo says:
and speak with damn happening english accent also
G says:
waaah
Johnny Bravo says:
but cannot pronounce her name
G says:
go befrens her
G says:
go go
Johnny Bravo says:
it is Genesumthing sumthing Basseenike sumthing sumthing
Johnny Bravo says:
but she damn cutes lah so more young me thinks
G says:
Ah....it sounds like Basi-nak ke? (in malay it means "it's rotten, still want?")
Johnny Bravo says:
bout late twenties
Johnny Bravo says:
today me very interested in the training lah
Johnny Bravo says:
how can i take camera and takes her picture
G says:
phone!! say since u leaving takes pictures
Johnny Bravo says:
she can see one u know if i use me phones
G says:
ask her la alamak ask her to take wif u la
Johnny Bravo says:
i only just met her today
G says:
just walks up tp her and say she's gorgeous!
Johnny Bravo says:
sounds damn desperrate man u r MAD
Johnny Bravo says:
i have to maintain an image u know
G says:
dood in them chicas they like straight forward and sincere ppel la dey!
Johnny Bravo says:
i am trying to become regional CEO !!! Yes but I am asian
G says:
she like one
Johnny Bravo says:
and the rest of me collegues in the room that hears how habis harapan aku
G says :
No worries
G says:
is fr loves
G says:
they understands
Johnny Bravo says:
u talk nonsense!!! nonsense i tells u
G says:
no u never watch Love Actually meh
Johnny Bravo says:
meaning
Johnny Bravo says:
i watch many times
G says:
u gots to goes fr wat u want
G says:
sit there talk ends up with naught
Johnny Bravo says:
yes i c
G says:
so goes
Johnny Bravo says:
k
Johnny Bravo says:
i will send emails later to her!
*** at this point I really think I know what the hell I am talking about! and the dood is really taking my advice - LOL!***
G says:
ask her fo coffee
Johnny Bravo says:
to her she is on the global address and i will bring her the coffeee
G says:
tells her that she is da most beautiful woman she meets
G says:
u ever meets
G says:
and tells her something strange happened today
**** hahahaha honestly I will NEVER do so meself *****
Johnny Bravo says:
i will tell her that me fren who has never met her thinks that she is the prettiest chcik he has never met, becos of me descrition of her
Johnny Bravo says:
wat strange thing happened today
G says:
u felt like the whole world suddenly became so much more beautiful
**** puking my gutts out already!!! LOL ****
G says:
and u have a happy,anxious feeling inside that u have never felt since long long time ago
Johnny Bravo says:
but she is really quite cute
G says:
goes befrens her la
G says:
dood u gots nothing to loooooooooooooose but everything to gaaaaaaaaaaaaaain (coz already start as loser so nothing much more can lose la....as me thinks in me head)
G says:
just like me and me GF
**** here's where me epiphany came about which will eventually lead to another post of mine here regarding mathematics....****
G says:
no GF = G becomes a singularity!
Johnny Bravo says:
nonsesnse !!!!!
G says:
with GF = The Grouch + happiness which equates to a happy Grouch!
G says:
understand
Johnny Bravo says:
i c
G says:
so...without Genie = Johnny Bravo - the zero
G says:
with Genie = Johnny Bravo + Fren
G says:
If Genie is +ve attracted to Johnny Bravo then + Happiness+Potential GF / No more ZERO!
G says:
See da equation???
(Me thinks in me head after /You aint a ZERO loser no more...u have a Genie with u + mebbe 3 wishes...hmmmm)
Johnny Bravosays:
and potential place to crash in da UK in the future
G says:
YA!
Johnny Bravo says:
wat nonsense !
G says:
IF Johnny Bravo is -ve / Then Johnny Bravo = 0
G says:
Johnny Bravo = sadness (Loooooooooser)
G says:
Johnny Bravo = Loser
Johnny Bravo says:
u are so nice call me loser all
G says:
not me
G says:
that is da equation
G says:
how it moves
G says:
how it equates
G says:
very simple
Johnny Bravo says:
the equation is all done by u
G says:
yes and thru sheer grit and understanding of how life works
*** ABOVE here at this point was me moment of epiphany that mathematics is very easy indeed!! And to think I used to fail em all....****
Johnny Bravo says:
so what is says is what u are saying
G says:
its always a + / - game
G says:
IF u are positive..u will + stuff
G says:
if u are negative, u will negate life
G says:
and chances
G says:
and opportunities
Johnny Bravo says:
i c
G says:
simple rule of life
Johnny Bravo says:
i c i wil listen to u and tells u wat happens
G says:
ok got + (means ADD) something to your life
Johnny Bravo says:
i wil see how it goes
G says:
objects appear before us, is there fr a reason
G says:
persons as well
G says:
just go say hi
G says:
if the math is correct
G says:
all will add up
G says:
my philosophy champion or not?
At this point Johnny Bravo went to action on it la....I cant believe I can come up with such crap in such a short span of time....Guess that day I was inspired!!!!
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Men of Steel - I think not!
I had a brush with mortality the other day. To be precise the mortality of a kid on a bike (a Honda cup 110cc) who zipped right in front of my car as I was making a left turn after the traffic light on the turning lane. He served, skillfully avoiding my car and maneuvered his bike as if he was cutting corners in MotoGP and ended up onto the pedestrian walk.
I almost killed him.
Or so the thought did flash in front of me. Strange though, I thought I would be angry at him for almost denting my pristine driving machine when he pulled the stunt. The anger only came later when I saw his smug look as he stopped at the pedestrian corner.
He stopped, turned and clearly avoiding any eye contact with me to check out the traffic behind and sped off. To his side, a dumbfounded, jaw's clearly dropped to the ground pedestrian who bore witnessed to the Evel Kneivel stunt.
What is it exactly with motorcyclist? Do they think they are made of steel?? Clearly not, as just today as I was reading the news, 2 motorcyclists died over the weekend. One a rider and the other a pillion rider.
Perhaps it is the thrill of having a 110 horsepower and metal grasped between their thighs which may have an effect on testosterone production. In short, give them the balls to do the stuff they do.
Riding a bike, is thrilling I must say. But shouldn't there be some form of self control when one i riding down a busy highway or when one is having an innocent (thrill sharing) party behind? I am guessing most do but a few don't. Also, on 2 wheels, don't you think that the tire grip versus high speed does not work hand in hand? On top of that, in a rainy country where puddles can easily form on roads would deter people from going at too high a speed. Sadly, some don't think so.
For they think they are invincible. Supermen. Men of steel. Sadly, though when they do fall, it usually end up proving them wrong. From smug speed demons to whimpering cry babies as they feel the pain, see the blood they spilled and carnage they can leave behind all due to their stupidity.
I almost killed him.
Or so the thought did flash in front of me. Strange though, I thought I would be angry at him for almost denting my pristine driving machine when he pulled the stunt. The anger only came later when I saw his smug look as he stopped at the pedestrian corner.
He stopped, turned and clearly avoiding any eye contact with me to check out the traffic behind and sped off. To his side, a dumbfounded, jaw's clearly dropped to the ground pedestrian who bore witnessed to the Evel Kneivel stunt.
What is it exactly with motorcyclist? Do they think they are made of steel?? Clearly not, as just today as I was reading the news, 2 motorcyclists died over the weekend. One a rider and the other a pillion rider.
Perhaps it is the thrill of having a 110 horsepower and metal grasped between their thighs which may have an effect on testosterone production. In short, give them the balls to do the stuff they do.
Riding a bike, is thrilling I must say. But shouldn't there be some form of self control when one i riding down a busy highway or when one is having an innocent (thrill sharing) party behind? I am guessing most do but a few don't. Also, on 2 wheels, don't you think that the tire grip versus high speed does not work hand in hand? On top of that, in a rainy country where puddles can easily form on roads would deter people from going at too high a speed. Sadly, some don't think so.
For they think they are invincible. Supermen. Men of steel. Sadly, though when they do fall, it usually end up proving them wrong. From smug speed demons to whimpering cry babies as they feel the pain, see the blood they spilled and carnage they can leave behind all due to their stupidity.
The Grouch
Here I am finally in cyberspace.....a place I can jot down my ramblings..hehehehehehe...... and thoughts...coooool.....no time to waste now, so this is gonna be short...dont complain, will fill the space up later with the ramblings of an old man........
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