Da Marriage Klownselar!

This is not a post about any stag nite if any of you folks might be thinking after seeing Strip Joint in the title. This is about how the Grouch manage to "help" me mate in securing a lifetime of happiness with his then wife to be (now confirmed Wifey) by clearing all the bones from his closet, which he was trying to hide. He was gonna hide them forever from his lovely as it was but a moment of folly which he succumbed too and I know that deep down inside, this secret was tearing him apart. Poor dood!

Here's what happened. Back in 2001 I was back in Melbourne for a month as interim manager of our Aussie office as my then country manager decided to jump ship. Hence, naturally I caught up with my aussie mate. We shall call him Goody Joe and his GF (then). Our actvities are mainly very goody goody coz after all, you dont get to be called Goody Joe for being naughty!

One day, while me, Goody and Leon were having dinner at our trusty old chinese restaurant A1, Goody asked me about my adventures at the local strip joint. Of course, when me buddy asked about it in his goody ways I thought of nothing naughty but just to educate him about the going ons in his neighbourhood.

Suddenly, Goody said, he wanted to go check it out as part of his educational process. Again, I thought what the heck, it was after all done in the purpose of furthering one's life learning. So we decided to make our way down to MG but before we head out, Goody went to draw some money from the local ATM. "Why you draw so much money dood?, " I asked.

Goody answered "Bro, it's my first time and I dont know how much the whole tuition fee would be so I take a bit more la and I also decided to cover u guys as well" What a GUY eh!

So off we went and we had a blast of a time there. (For details, will put in another post). After gettting all the needed education we headed home. On the way back, I can tell that he felt dissonance from his field trip. He felt guilty for gawking at nekkid women wrapping themselves to a pole and dancing sexily on top of a table while having loads of beer as he loves his GF very very much. Sighs.

Hence, the matter was buried between the 3 of us until one night about a year later. We were having a webcam chat at my friend Pilotboy's home with him over in Aussieland. And he was there, telling us about how he proposed to his GF and all. So all of us were overjoyed and as usual in a get together of frens we always recount all the stupid things that we ever did. Hence, I let the cat out of the bag - ACCIDENTALLY. Everyone was laughing including him and his GF who popped her head into the webcam to ask smiling gleefully "Whaat!??...what strip bar??"
All of us continued to laugh and I championly changed topic and awhile later we called it a nite.

Or so I thought, well it was a wrap for me but apparently for him, it was not the case.....as I found out the next morning, the minute I logged onto my msn messenger.

"FARKING BASTARD!!!! FARK U!!!!!!!! YOU DESTROYED ME!!! U MUTHAFARKER SONOFABIATCH!!!!! why u go tell all about the education field trip???? It was supposed to be between us brothers!!! U diu chow hai sei chai diu kow lei ke sei yan tow!!!!! (translation of champion cantonese foul language - fark you smelly cunt damm boy, fark your blardy dead head!!!)

Shit!! What have I done!?! Panic flashed across my brain as my neurons worked at hyperspeed trying to find the right words to salvage my brothers marriage and all I can come up with "So how now?" says me in the meekest of voice.

A few silent minutes later.

"Fark what you think I had to tell her EVERYTHING MAN!! EVERYTHING SINGLE DETAIL!" says Goody.

"Err...including the one about you wasting 30mins just to wait for your chosen one to lap dance you??" asked me meekly.

"FARK MAN! WHAT YOU THINK??? OF COURSE!!!" answered Goody.

Shit man, I may have screwed up his happiness this time round. I felt bad. Really baaaad. As in Baaa Baaa Black Sheep Baaaaaad!!!. Guilt weighed upon me like a thousand tons of beans pouring down on me! shit. I screwed up big time this round. And before I could sputter another word Goody then told me that he ended up talking to his GF for almost 7 hours straight!!!

But in the end, everything ended well. As his GF knows Goody is just under my evil influence and he actually went to MG for pure educational purposes. And guess what, she was actually happy that he told her about his little field trip and how much guilt he held inside him (not that he did anything wrong during the field trip.)..NO NO NO. He was very well behaved. He was just there to satisfy his curiosity as well as to prove to some bastard friends of his who were teasing him of not ever been to a stip joint that he went, saw and left with his saintly halo still intact on his crown.

And as for Goody Joe, he felt great relief after suffering from a serious lack of sleep and having his brains squeezed dry of all the information gathered that nite. All his guilt and dissonance washed clean. A heavy burden lifted of his tiny frame!

So here we have it. Alls well that ends well. Come to think of it, I actually did them a favor! I helped clear his conscience and helped him destroy all the dirty bones in his closet! Now, Goody Joe and GF are finally married and are engulfed in pure marital bliss! No thanks of course need to be mentioned to me, the Grouch - The Accidental Marriage Klownselar!!!!!