Can Chew?

Speech is our most direct form of communication. Normally, whenever we are approached by a stranger from another part of the world, the first few words we learn to speak or confronted with are vulgarities (Fark U! being the most general) besides the normal and boring "Hello", "Thank you", "Have you eaten?", "Where's the toilet?", "Are you male or female", "You like me?, I like you","You love me, I love you" and "Let's go!".

While having dinner with my teochew friend Benben, I discovered that, some languages have limitations in describing certain parts of the human anatomy.

Namely, the dialect we are talking about here is Teochew. I am actually from Fujian Province in China, hence my natural dialect group is Hokkien, while I am brought up in an environment of Cantonese, Malay and English speaking parents.

Naturally, my command of the cantonese vocabulary for vulgarities used in describing the sexual reproduction organs and it's uses/curses, is the most champion of all!!! (second is Hokkien and I can only swear and curse in Hokkien, normal conversation - FAIL)!

And strangely enough in terms of vulgarities and flowery curses (from my limited scope of experience), Cantonese seems to be the most advance. It has many, many kinds of swears and curses to oneself as well as to one's loved ones. Very colorful at that!! It is too RA to describe here but u can refer to my Buang Sui post to get a feel of some.

Whereas the teochew dialect's swears and curses seems to be only limited to "POO BOH!" or "KAH CZENG!" (POO BOH - Fark your momma / KAH CZENG - Ass!). These seems to be the 2 swear words available in Teochew. But of course, if there's any Teochew brothers or sisters out there that can think of more, please do educate me.

When I ask my friend if there's any more words to describe the strategic human anatomy when one curses in teochew, he cant seem to think of any.

As for cantonese, one can easily think of the words to describe say for example : Ass.

Ass in cantonese - Si Fat, Lor Yau, Kong Moon, Pat Yuet Sap Ng, Pei Ku!

Ass in teochew - Kah Czeng - only 1 that I can think of.

Does this then mean that, being cantonese or being able to speak cantonese makes one a naturally good candidate to take up medicine?? Or does it mean that cantonese speaking people have a more civilised and advance society once upon a time in China hence make them smarter??

When I asked my friend how do one describe a male and female's sexual reproductive organ in teochew, he was STUMPED! All he can think of again when it comes to such organs is KAH CZENG. I asked, "How else you can spice up to curse one's KAH CZENG in teochew??" I again drew a blank! My goodness, in cantonese, there seems to be an endless array of ways to curse one's backside!!!

Just imagine if you are in a war of words against a cantonese speaking fella and a teochew speaking fella, who do you think will win.

Naturally of course the cantonese speaking fella.

All the teochew fella can say is "POO BOH! KAH CZENG! POO BOH! KAH CZENG!"

Whereas the cantonese speaking fella can utilise the wide array of vocabulary available, to describe the action (fark), smell/taste(condition), family members (namely Ma and Pa) as well as the family pet - the dog and the human anatomy to beat down the opposition!!!.